Prayer Warriors

Romans 8:31 says,

If God be for us who can be against us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall TRIBULATION or DISTRESS or PERSECUTION or FAMINE or NAKEDNESS or PERIL or SWORD? NAY, (  No way!) But in ALL these things we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ.

The people of Joplin, Mo. need our prayers and assistance. If you find it in your heart to donate please e-mail me and I will get you in contact with a local friend who is assisting in a relief fund. If you can't donate, please PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!

Also, Oklahoma and Arkansas are expecting a HUGE tornado outbreak tonight... so PLEASE pray for them!

Blessings to all!

Attitude

Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day.

~Author Unknown

I was asked today about my positive attitude and if life was REALLY that good (something like that- can't remember exact words). I gave an answer at that moment... but thought about it some more after... and thought, and thought... my answer after all the thinking?

Life really isn't that bad!

Is it perfect? Uhm, no, far from it.

Do I have bad days, moments... more than I care to admit.

Truth is...

I still have my moments when my disability still hurts- emotionally... and yes, even physically.

I still have my moments when my job is TOUGH - an incident happended a few weeks ago that I only shared with Michael, my birth board, a few teachers at work and one administrator. It hurt- but it showed me my strength- strength I didn't have before. 

I still have my moments when I am not such a great mommy.

I still have my moments when I am not a great wife.

I still have my moments when I am not a great daughter, sister, aunt, sister-in-law, friend... etc.

I still have my moments when I tell God... "you know dude- THAT hurt my feelings, why did you let that happen to me?" Seriously - He understands... I may think about using the dude part again though... just sayin'...

I still hurt, cry, yell, scream... but in the end I remind myself- life is NOT that bad. Really.

I wasted a huge part of my life feeling sorry for myself. Dwelling on all the things I couldn't do. I needed to just get over it. And I made the decision to do just that. I got over it. And now, yes, life IS that good. And I am blessed beyond belief.  It was all in my attitude. 

Agape

Agape... Love...

Love is my baby girl introducing me to her class proudly as ... her mommy that has one leg that doesn't work right... with love.

Love is the pride I felt watching my baby walk down the auditorium aisle for her graduation... yes kinder... but still proud nonetheless... I love her.

Love is listening to her happiness as she proudly yells, "goodbye kindergarten HELLO 1st grade"... I loved that.

Love is family...

Love is ... sisters.

Love is watching her with her friends...

Love is appreciating every single person that helped shape her this past year... with love.

Love... Agape...

Thank you Lord for blessing me with this feeling... Love.

Flipped

You are wearing your favorite blouse, having a good day... then...

Flip... your blouse tears.

You are on your way to have a great evening with the family... then...

Flip... you are involved in a hit and run car accident.

You just got a great promotion at work... then...

Flip... a family member is diagnosed with cancer.

You are having a great family vacation... then...

Flip... you suffer a major injury.

You are an amazing athlete... then...

Flip... you are involved in an accident that leaves you paralyzed.

You just found out you were pregnant... then...

Flip... you miscarry.

Life is perfect... then...

Flip... now it's not.

Are you ready for the flips?

How will you land?

Flat on your face?

Will you fall to your knees?

Will your faith stay strong?

 Will your faith grow?

Will your faith be lost?

Are you prepared to flip? It is not a question of WILL you flip... but when...

Be ready. Build your faith. Know He is still there... He is there in the midst of your flip.

He wants you to focus on what He is doing in your life in the midst of all the flips... He wants you to trust in Him.

Can you? Will you?

**********

We often wonder why God allows bad things to happen to good people.  We question Him.  Some tell try to instill in our minds negative thoughts.  They tell us if our God was so powerful He would not have "allowed" the bad things to occur.  You see, God sees the bad things that happen - He knows they are going to happen way before they actually happen- they are all part of "our" story.  The story that He wrote.  They happen to us to shape us to who we need to be.  Who He needs us to be. 

We need to trust Him...

Job 1:21

The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

Direction... the Answer to my "Where to?"

About two years ago we (Michael and I) decided to try to have another baby.  We had our concerns such as...

my disabilty...

money...

daycare...

money...

Michael's age...

money...

starting over with a diaper bag, formula, sleepless nights...

money...

But we also felt the desire to have another... a boy- maybe?  But a little sister for Jayda would be great too... Jayda wanted a baby too... But...

Money? (was slightly on our mind- slightly)

*Sigh* We went back and forth... yes... no... maybe... no, yes... ugh, maybe we shouldn't because you know... the money thing...

Ok... here is the deal... let's leave it up to God...

"God, we are going to try... but you decide...ok?" 

 "OK..." (He didn't really say OK... but yeah, you get the picture). 

Sooo, I go for my yearly check up... the fun one that makes you absolutely hate uhm, I mean, LOVE being a woman and have the privilege to bring a miracle into the world... yeah, that visit.  And to make it even more enjoyable, they weigh you.  I won't enlighten you with numbers, but let's just say - I weighed more than I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant with Jayda.  Uhm, yeah.  And I wish I could say I was one of those blessed pregnant girls that only gained the amount that the baby weighed... yeah, maybe Jayda's weight at the age of 5.  Anyhoo...so I don't think I need to REALLY tell you what the doctor told me... do I?

Yeah... something about losingweight.1200caloriediet.workout... it was all such a blur...

so yeah...

I went to workout out with Leah Wells that very same day... seriously.

All to have another baby... IF God wanted us too... (can't leave that out- it's important... really).

So that was the plan... I had a year to lose the weight- then we'd try to get pregnant... in that order.  (I was sure God would say yes... really).

Well, a year later (I do have a point- promise)... I lost some of the weight... enough in my opinion to try...

We tried.

God said no.

Surprisingly...

I was OK with that.

But, what now God?  Is this it? 

"HA, HA, HA... is this it? Of course THIS is not it." God replied (no, really, He did). 

He went on to say...

Don't you feel your confidence?  Don't you feel stronger?  Aren't you liking your results?  Don't you feel like YOU can do things now?  You CAN... you CAN... you.. you - meaning ME?? 

I can. 

You see, God knew that the only way He would get me to commit to the weight loss was the idea of possibly having another baby. And He knew that I needed to lose the weight to gain my confidence.  And I needed my confidence to do what He needed me to do.  So, He went with that.  I lost the weight... but He had a better plan.  A plan for me to get physically stronger, mentally stronger, become confident, feel so good about myself, accept my disablity, follow dreams, accomplish goals...

He found a way to show me that I was worth so much.  He knew it... but He needed me to know it. 

I found my value, I showed my daughter things that her mommy could do instead of focusing on what mommy couldn't do...

I found me. 

 That was His plan all along.

So, ok, He was done... right?

Uh, NO! 

He has been speaking to me.

He wants me to follow His plan. I had so many questions for Him the other day and I found myself with some down time, on my own, so I opened up my bible and was led to to the following scriptures:

Luke 1:45

Blessed is she that believed, for there shall be fulfillment of the things which have been spoken.

OK, God... I believe... but what... what do I do?

So He then led me to:

Luke 1:79

To shine upon them that sit in darkness and the shadow of death; to guide our feet into the way of peace. 

OK, you want me to help others, others who are hurt, suffering... disabilites, illnesses, perhaps?  But how Lord?  How?

Revelation 1:19

WRITE... write therefore the things which thou sewest and the things which are and the things which shall come to pass hereafter. 

But, Lord... I have VERY limited knowledge on YOUR words... I am knew to scripture... How can I really do this and be successful?  Where do I start?  Who can guide me? 

I closed my bible at this point... not sure on what was next.

Went to service this morning to listen to this:

"Use what you've been given." 

Serve the Lord with what YOU can do.  And if you are not sure what it is exactly that YOU can do... just start with something... experiment. 

And this is where my committment to our Lord begins...

With my God... I can do all things... with my God... I will do what He wants me to do.

I'm on a journey... and I am ready.

Be blessed my friends. 

MommyHood

Celebrating Mother's Day this past Sunday got me to thinking of my role as a mommy... Jayda's Mommy... and the thought of the 3 women before me who are my role models... leaving a legacy for all to see.

What can I say? She is my life. I adore her. Her happiness & and her success is important to me. I can't thank the Lord enough for allowing me to be Jayda's Mommy... Jayda's Mommy... I love it... it defines me. Before you tell me that it shouldn't be the only defining  role in life - it isn't... it has helped me find myself. It has led me to love me as well. It has gotten me to be the best I could be for myself and to become a better mommy.

She saved me.

While I want to get her the best in life, make sure she gets all she needs, a few of her wants... what scares me the most is... will I raise her to know Him? He who allowed me to borrow her... He who loves her MORE than I do. Am I doing right by Him with her? All I can do is pray for His continued guidance. I know He has BIG plans for this sweet little girl with a BIG heart... I can't wait to see what her story is. It is going to be a good one. I just know it.

For now, she knows she is beautiful... on the outside, but I have truly emphasized to her the beauty she holds within. THAT makes her my pageant queen... her beauty within.