My Thoughts as "Jayda's Mommy"

Dear Jayda,

I have many titles in my life, I’m known as Myra, Mrs. Hough, Mrs., Ms. Rodriguez, etc… but being known as “Jayda’s Mommy” has brought me the most pride. I am so proud to be your mommy. It has been the greatest honor that I have ever received. I LOVE it when random people come up to me and ask me “are you Jayda’s mommy?” I think my face lights up-no, I know it lights up! I proudly respond “YES”!

I am sitting here in tears as I type this. Tears of joy of course, but tears nonetheless. I don’t think it is possible to love you more than I do right now, but everyday it seems like the love does get bigger, everyday you find a way to amaze me more.

Silly. Confident. Stubborn. Dramatic. Artistic. Life of the party. Talkative. People flock towards you. I love that about you. Did I mention that you are stubborn? Ha! Daddy says you are four generations in one… Great-grandma Jesusita (who I believe had a lot to do with you being here with me now- she talked to God directly to make that happen and I believe with all my heart she held you before I did, before you were sent to me), Great Grandma Cuqui and Grandma Mari – and anyone that knows these three women, knows that being like them is NOT a bad thing… it is great actually! And o f course me being the 4th generation in you. I guess I can admit the stubbornness comes from the four of us…haha! But being stubborn can take you a long way baby!

There are days that I lose myself in your eyes and wonder how you became the person you are today. Are you really my daughter? Bubbly, boisterous, and beautiful. I am so grateful for who you are. I am envious of your passion for life, your confidence, your ambitions. You have taught me so many great things and opened up my eyes to a new world. You make my heart sing out loud when I look in the rear view mirror of the car. I see you break out in song as your limbs start dancing and I smile at your honesty. You are always happy. You can’t hear music without dancing – it is just in you!

You are my world Jayda. I love listening to the conversations that you have with your imaginary friends (yes, you still have them) and I hear you repeat things to them that we are always saying to you. At least that proves to us that you do hear us when at times it seems like you don’t. My favorite “conversation” was when you were telling one of them “You have to graduate from college”… ahhh, that brought such joy to me! I hope that we are instilling that in you, although it seems so far away I want you to have that thought in you. You see, you were born into a family that takes education seriously, we take pride in that. That is important baby.

I love seeing the pride in your eyes when you tell your friends that I am your mommy, that is one of the best feelings in the world for me (besides your hugs and kisses). I love how you embrace my differences. You don’t care that you r mommy can’t run or jump like the other mommies, you accepted that with such bravery. Thank you baby, thank you. That has meant so much to me. I remember this past year walking into your class and you stood up and loudly exclaimed, “Hey guys, this is MY mommy. She has a leg that doesn’t work right. I have a book about it.” I fought my tears back at that moment, not out of sadness baby, but out of pride! I was so proud of you for doing that. For showing me that you LOVED me being your mommy no matter what. Again, thank you!

I love how understanding you are when I take you somewhere and we have “our talk”, when I tell you “daddy isn’t with us here so you need to stay right by me, ok?” and you nod with understanding. I ask you “do you understand?” and you reply with “yes, because you can’t run after me.” I just simply love you.

You have taught me so much baby. So much.

You are “mi pequena traviesa” (my mischievous little girl –don’t change!). Happy 5th birthday my love!

Love always,

Your biggest fan- Mommy

A.K.A Jayda’s Mommy

P.S.  I know it's early for your birthday, but we are heading out to meet Sleeping Beauty (oh how you have studied her in preparation for this trip) and I wanted to have this up before our July adventure begins! 

What Life in Holland has been like...

Welcome to Holland - Part 2

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger - the pain and uncertainty. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time. I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad. I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its' tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer. Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

Author Unknown

The following line really stood out for me because it is so true...Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest.

I don't think people realize how often this really does happen, I throw my tantrum, umm, I mean, I 'talk' to God and ask him, ok, ok, I yell at Him and STOMP my feet and demand answers (that I have yet to get).  But, you know what?  I worship a God who can take it.  HE CAN TAKE IT... it's ok to be mad at him sometimes... He knows you need to just let it out.  The best part about it though is that once I am done throwing my' tantrum'... He is still there, letting me know that everything will always be ok.  And, although I do not understand His reasons, they are exactly that, HIS reasons.  I know He has so much faith in me, He knew I could handle this!!!  He knew it.  So I can't let Him down now....right?

So, when someone says "don't put a question mark where God has placed a period"... they are correct... throw a tantrum instead (HA! J/K) - HE knows you need it and it's OK!  Trust me, I know, been there, done that... and will probably do it many, many more times!

We don't play with Barbie Dolls...

We just play with bats and balls... well...

OK, maybe just a few barbies... umm and princess... and dresses... and...Uh... OK who are we kidding...??  They LOVE girly things but are great with a bat too!

Dancing Like Nobody is Watching...

Yes, that is what Jayda does... dance, dance and dance some more! She LOVES to dance. Ever since she was in the womb... she danced! I remember so clearly Dancing with the Stars making its debut and I was instantly hooked and I would sit and watch every week, 8 months pregnant, and you should have SEEN my stomach just go! She was having a blast in there!! To this day she loves watching "Dancing on the Stars".

So, because of this love for dance it was not a question of whether or not she'd be in dance -- she was enrolled at the age of 3... and it has been a JOY! We are very blessed to have Gracie, a cousin of mine, own a dance studio and that is where Jayda attends. Gracie has done an amazing job with the girls. May 1st, Jayda had her 2nd dance recital and it was beautiful!! Gracie definitely outdid herself, AGAIN! Here are a few pictures of my Dancing Princess...

Her smile was HUGE because of the fact she was on STAGE!! This girl has a thing for the limelight!

Bow Chicka Bow Wow...that's what my baby says...

Here she is "Flying to Mexico"

Here she is just posing for the camera...she is such a HAM!

We are now ready for summer ballet and tap and are also looking for a gymnastics class! This is her callin! LOL!

I hope she continues to "Dance like nobody is watching" but always realizes mommy will ALWAYS be watching!