Jayda & The Beauty Within Our Hearts

A blessing.

That is what our kids are.

That is what Jayda is for me.

I am glad that through the journey that I began 2 years ago I have been able to become a better mommy- not perfect, but better.

And it has been a result of

 my faith increasing,

 my self-confidence increasing,

my self-worth being discovered

.

 I have become the mother I've wanted my daughter to have...

the mother that my child deserved,

one that she can look at and be proud of.

One that can show her that nothing is impossible.

One that can help her find the beauty within her heart.

And although rough patches in our future are certainly guaranteed...

I know through faith... 

and through our hearts...

and our God...

we will be ok...

Will WE fall? Definitely.

 Will SHE fall? Most certainly.

 But, the job of a parent is not to make sure our kids don't fall

or to expect that they never fall or fail us.

 It is to make sure that we gave them the purpose and the ability to get back up and keep moving forward.

That is ALL we can do.

Bungee Cords

You take the risk... it looks fun... a leap of FAITH... why not? It'll be alright... you take the leap, the jump... you go for it... after all... the cord is there... the bungee cord will hold you... it makes you feel secure... it will keep you from falling flat on the ground... it will hold you up.

That is how a bungee cord works. They can secure just about anything. It can withstand a lot of pulling of force.

It has a strong looking exterior. It is strong. It will HOLD you. It will NOT let you fall. It allows you to take risks...

Do you have a bungee cord?

I do.

3 as a matter a fact.

Michael, he hold me up always.  Never thinks my crazy ideas are out of reach... always encourages me... always fights for me, defends me... motivates me... and my biggest fan. 

My other two cords... my behind-the-scenes cords...

They are what I like to refer to as the reinforcements.  I love them so... and I know they will always be there to keep me from ever completely falling head first.

My bungee cords...

The Story Behind Every Story...

"But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin."

— Mitch Albom

 

I am so blessed to have my life story originate from such strong and wonderful women. I can only pray that I can be to Jayda what they have been to me.

I recently read The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom and it made me realize how many questions I will have for my great-grandma when I get to see her again. I had a special bond with her when I was younger, she was a huge part of my life at a very young age, sadly she passed when I still a young age... and I didn't physically have her around as a teen or an adult... but I know she's been around in other ways.

I know, without a doubt, she and Jayda have a very special connection. I know they "know" each other. I believe in my heart that she held Jayda before I ever did. Since Jayda was a very "planned" baby (IUI)- I know exactly when she was conceived-- Mami Jesusita's birthday- November 7. It was through a procedure that usually isn't successful until the 3rd attempt... we got pregnant on our first attempt. Coincidence? I think not. Jayda also has shared strong desires  to visit her grave. She has this connection. Too strong of a connection to not believe that they know each other. And I can't wait to see my great-grandma and hear all about it when that time comes. It is a true blessing!

But, we all have great stories to tell... and yes, they have all started out from our mother's...

wonderful, God fearing women!

Do Not Fear; He Will Help You

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't alone. I mean, I always knew I had my mom and dad, Michael... my entire family, but yet many times weakness would hit, the "this is too hard" mentality would take over. The "I can't do it" syndrome would strike, and believe me, it would knock me down hard. Then, through many trials, many tears, many frusterations... I realized... I am not alone... I am never alone...

He, my God...

 is with me...

He holds my hand...

always...

and He helps me.

As I teach my class... He helps me.

As I raise my daughter... He helps me.

As I strive to be a good wife... He helps me.

As I strive to be a good daughter, sister, niece, aunt and friend... He helps me.

As I work towards goals... He helps me.

As I completed my first half-marathon... He helped me.

As I lift more weight I ever thought possible... He helps me.

As I continue to reach for what many think as impossible... He will help me... when I get weak and grow tired... He will help me...

He will always help me... because I am worth it to Him... and His greatest desire is for me to be worth it to myself... We are all worth it.  So need to be scared...

Believe that.